Relationships Don't Work.

I'm convinced that relationsips don't work. I've never had a successful relationship. My first real boyfriend was in high school. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. He was controlling and just downright crazy. He took my virginity and told me he was also a virgin. Turns out he wasn't, and everybody knew about it except for me. He cheated on me during our entire 3 year relationship. He sucks.

My next serious boyfriend was in college. Yeah, that was a joke. He was ashamed of me. Most of his friends didn't even know we were dating...for 2 years. He never wanted me to hang out with him and his friends. He never complimented me. Eventually, he would never be "intimate" with me. Then, he cheated on me while I was out of the country, waited to break up with me until I got back in the US, and started dating the girl he was cheating with. They are still together... He also sucks.

My latest "relationship"- if you could even call it that- is quickly crumpling. We were formally boyfriend-girlfriend for about 3 months. Then, he broke up with me. But, we still talked, dated, whatever. Now, I'm just completely sick of him. I never see him. He doesn't make time for me. He makes excuses why he can't hang out or why he doesn't call me back. He won't kiss me in public. He won't even fuck me anymore. It's very irritating. He's also very rude to me on the phone. He constantly gets an attitude with me and talks to me like I'm a damn idiot. I'm so sick of him. I deserve better. I deserve to be with someone that actually WANTS to spend time with me. Why should I be lonely every night? Why should I waste my time on someone that tells me he's too lazy to come over. What an asshole.

So, relationships don't work. I'm sick to death of this shit. I have a lot to offer. I deserve better than these dumasses. I just don't know why I put up with these guys for so long. It's irritating. I irritate myself. I hate how I let guys walk all over me. Damn. Maybe my realtionships don't work because of me, not because of them? I don't know. Lame.